69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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