i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
