so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
