Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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