I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
