he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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