i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
