and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think your dad took our porno
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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