found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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