You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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