but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
