Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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