Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
