tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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