ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
