all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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