You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
