I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
