I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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