I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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