So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
