Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
