ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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