oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
