If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
