you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
