why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
