I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
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