What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
