Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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