I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
