i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
