If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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