what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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