And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
