$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
