YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
