Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
