You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm sobbing to NWA
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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