WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
