The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
