Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
