I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
