Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
