Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
