i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
