Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
