I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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