I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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