dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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