is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
