yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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