FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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